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Composer for the band Go! Child, Game Developer, Voice Actor, Guy who loves bad jokes too much

Ryan @Chongo

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Hotel Transylvania Review

Posted by Chongo - October 17th, 2012


Well today was the school's "Senior Skip Day". Instead of questioning how my parents use their tax dollars to fund such a holiday, I decided to go see a movie with my friends, and we saw Hotel Transylvania. I figured that I had a witty thing or two to say about it, so I decided to make this and see if maybe it would make the front page. *crosses fingers* But what the hell, lets go.

It's about Dracula (played by Adam Sandler), and who builds a huge castle to give the monsters a safe place to stay so that humans don't Kill em with fire. Also to protect his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez, who does an OK job considering she would otherwise be selling Disney merchandise). Suddenly, a HUMAN enters named Jonathan (played by that Lonely Island dude. I can never remember his first name. I think it was Adam Samberg). He tries to get rid of him, but he does what any normal teenage kid would do. Screw. Up. EVERYTHING. At first Dracula covers him up as a monster to protect his monster street cred. Shenanigans ensue. Mavis falls in love with Jonathan. Lies and Slander occur. Will I spoil the ending for you?

Yes. They all live happily ever after. Didn't expect that, did you? Well I'm spoiling this for you for a reason, which I will later explain.

Now for the review. Turns out, I missed a lot of characters in the above plot synopsis. That's namely because they didn't do anything, but you saw them in advertising. We have Frankenstien (Kevin James), the Wolfman (Steve Buscemi, who I was totally okay with), a (the?) Mummy (Played by Cee Lo Green. I guess the gold in King Tut's tomb wasn't enough) and, of course, the Invisible Man. Wait, what? I never saw him in the trailers (get it). Yeah, he's played by David Spade, who also did a kickass job. Now the movie, for what it was, was good. It wasn't deep, and it wasn't exactly dramatic enough to mess with my emotions, but of course, it wasn't meant to be that. It was meant to be a comedy, and it did a good job with that. There were a good number of moments that had me laughing my socks off. Probably because it had Anthony Samberg and Adam Sandler playing off of each other. The side characters do a great job providing laughs, too. It takes advantage of every joke it can make, such as the Invisible Man. Not every joke was comedy gold, but it kept me laughing and warmed up for when any comedy gold happened. Is it old-Adam-Sandler-50-First-Dates-or-Happy-Gilmore funny? No. It was naturally toned down for a more family movie, and even at a family level, it was great comedy. On top of that, the animation is very high-quality, and the way they animate these creatures (especially the vampires).

Now I have to rate the story. Predictable: Yes. But that's to be expected. There's a whole web of issues that this Anchovy Samberg kid creates, but one in particular is Dracula's lack of trust for the humans, which is where I explain why I spoiled the ending. So you can leave a little earlier. It ends with them coming across a monster festival trying to catch Antonio Samberg on a plane, but he cant go in sunlight and needs to clear a path, so when he reveals that he's Dracula, not only do they randomly clear a path for him, but EVERY DRACULA AT THE FESTIVAL LINES UP AND USES EACH CAPE AS A BRIDGE! Why not just wear a hat? He was doing so earlier! Well, so then he does that, then flies in the sun anyway. Convinces Jonathan to stay with his daughter MID FLIGHT (in a way that I'll admit is kinda funny). Then they go back.

Note: Leave before this part.

Then they sing. Cee Lo Green (autotuned to hell and back), Selena Gomez (...yeah...), and Ad Hominem Samberg (Oh, well that's pretty cool...) rap and sing about THE POWER OF LOVE (...or not). Then, the mic is offered to Dracula, who at first refuses. Then he doesnt. And he raps. Adam Sandler, as Dracula. Raps. With the Lonely Island's proudest member. About Love. I literally screamed "NO!" at the top of my lungs in the middle of the theatre. My friends felt embarassed to say the least, and my scream didnt help. So on the way back home, I rewrote the scene.

Mavis: C'mon, dad. You should sing.

Dracula: Oh no, I haven't sang in forever, I couldn't.

And then they all lived happily ever after.

Much better.

Overall, the movie was good for what it was. A charming comedy movie with a creative enough premise and enough laughs to go around. Just got sucky near the end.

4/5 (The 4 is slowly going down near the end)

Recommend it.


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